Every next level of your life will demand a different you.
This is what my journal had for inspiration today.
A different me? I’m in. I think. I kinda like this me. I’m fun. Not ugly. Smart. Loyal. Trustworthy. great taste. Only issue is every Dam time i start to have fun, or get comfy, shit goes sideways. Not cool. I mean I knew for awhile it was getting to be too much over at vacation house, but had no clue it was going to end up like it did. I will reveal all, as soon as it’s OK to. Real soon, really. Anyway, i had a feeling about this deal were in now. One that’s been there for a bit. Not that anyone listens to me.no matter how many times I get proven right, still noone listens.
Have you ever had one of those feelings about someone? Or something? A place maybe? Situation even. You just KNEW it was wrong. Bad. That feeling that says get away, get out, don’t go there, stay home, just don’t do it? Yeah should listen to that. I get them sometimes. When I get it, I’m right. Wish I wasn’t half the time. Wish I listened to myself ALL the time. Trust it, really.
I know, I know, I’m being vague. Well there are reasons for that. Noone around me knows about this site. For good reasons. Doesn’t mean they couldn’t find it. Accidentally even. No sense throwing names and details about before I’ve gotten to a new place. A next level of you will. In the meantime, we can go with this: vaca house spit us out. While we were out in the boonies trying to help a friend’s sister. The loon. After a week of hell, we return to hear we have nowhere to return to And all my shit is outside. Still. In the rain. But I digress . So another friend *cough*s mom said OK, come here since you 2 work together (friend+hub) np.
Sounded great right? Same neighborhood, nice mom, bigger space, his wife is a*girlfriend* of mine, rent even cheaper. Hell yeah!
She hates cats. The mom does. Lily is a cat. I think. She can’t be inside, at least not right away, gotta work on mom. OK that sux but I can deal with it, it’s only temporary. Lily got comfy on the couch on the patio, not ideal, but workable. I had been going on about her since we got back, I missed her. Though mom knew the car on the porch was my cat. Huge misunderstanding ensues. I could swear I told mom, thought friend had to have mentioned her, etc. Turns out no. She thought I was feeding a stray, he flips out saying I lied about the cat, proceed s to have a conniption. Big overreaction. huge. Easy fix. Mom and I talk. She won’t anti freeze Lily, I won’t let her in the ,house. We go from there. Problem solved. Over the rest of the day, he tries to malign our character in untrue and unfriendly ways. Showing True colors. Bringing to mind the feeling ive been having for awhile. All bad.
This was another crack in the mask. The one hiding something that’s just wrong. I haven’t put the whole puzzle together yet, but I do know this- that friendly persona is just that. A persona, not a person. Everyone says how great, nice, helpful etc. I see manipulative. Hypocrite. Can’t stand a hypocrite. Bottom line~ time to GtFu. ASAP
On that note I’m off to see what it’s going to take to move. Away. Just us 3, no more drama. Oh boy drama! Goin to have to expand on that eh? In a bit ,going to check on Lily. About Lily tho…. Would you think I was nuts if I said I thought she was MEANT to be my cat? Like sent or something? Like she’s more than a kitten. I dunno , I’m prolly going insane. Must ponder…..